Thirty-One Days of Giving…Epilogue

“The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say” -J.R.R. Tolkien

In the  31 days of December 2011, my wife and I gave half our our earned income to a good cause and/or random act of kindness. To follow the giving blog series click here.

For now this journey has come to an end and some folks wonder why we did this. My only answer is, it was an undeniably strong calling from God. I don’t exactly know the reason.  You can ask Him. Maybe He will give you an answer. Then you can tell me. One thing I do know is that it caused a ripple effect. The more we gave, the more kindness in the world we were able to see. Articles and blogs about random acts of kindness were leaping out at us from all over the place.

When the time came to blog about it, I wondered if it was a good idea. It had become a very intimate and spiritual time for me. Yet, I wanted people to be inspired by the gesture. As more people began to find out about our month of giving, the more comments I began to receive about acts of faith or kindness they felt inspired to do. A friend told how she paid for a coffee to the car behind her at Starbucks and also she donated money to a fundraiser to help someone she didn’t know pay for his surgery. Other things we heard included paying for someone behind them in McDonald’s and offering gas money, just to spread the spirit. Someone I know told me today that they were inspired by the faith we showed and used some “buffer” money they had to pay off a student loan. They decided to take a leap of faith and put their trust in the Lord.

On that note, all good comes from God and if anything good came out of this past month of giving, we give Him the credit. We were just being good listeners.

I want to thank the small group of folks who faithfully read this series. I hope it brought some inspiration. If not, I hope that somehow, some good has come from it for you. I appreciate the encouraging comments and also the critical comments. We really did learn from those who didn’t exactly agree with what we did and how we did it. Nobody was rude and everyone was polite in their criticism and that is highly appreciated.

It is amazing to me that I can feel such a strong calling and yet feel so much doubt. I had deep moments of doubt throughout the month. On the other hand, I had very strong moments of faith. If I’m not absolutely sure about anything else, I am now sure about this. Fear really is the opposite of faith…and, I prefer faith.

Today I finally took down the outside Christmas decorations. It’s always a little sad to put them in storage and look at the house without the Nativity scene, the garland, the lighty-up plastic snowman and so forth. To me, it was also like closing the book on a very special holiday season. Yet, that tinge of sadness only means that I will have that much more excitement and joy next year when I get to put up the decorations again! Likewise, in our next project in giving, we will find that much more joy in starting a new journey, taking heart from our past endeavors, using what we learned, and applying it to the fresh path ahead. I already feel excited for things to come, whatever it may be.

By the strength of the Source of Love and Wisdom, we were able to give over $2000.00 in our 31 days of December giving.

Until the next time…Be well, my friends!

n

Thirty-One Days of December Giving…Days 26-31

“I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.”  – Khalil Gibran

Tonight at work, someone told my boss that we gave half our income in December. She was touched and said, “I have to give you a hug!” So she did. Someone else saw that and said, “Ellie’s giving out hugs. Where’s mine?” So they hugged. Then someone else said, Group hug!” Pretty soon there was a small group of us all hugging. If nothing else came out of these 31 days of giving, that made it all worth while.

The first few days of this week were spent catching up on our giving money. I had used two days of giving money toward Christmas gifts to my family and so I had to pay it back, (then forward). We had tithed a large portion of our money to our church and also to their pocket fund. The pocket fund is a collection of emergency money for people who need help suddenly.We gave some to the United Way. Then, we helped out some friends who needed money to fix their vehicle. This last offering was the highlight of the week so I will copy/paste that one day from the journal.

Day 30

Today, we tithed to our church 10% of our earnings and we gave the rest to some friends of ours who’s van broke down. We wanted to help them with that so we stopped by their house after church with a Christmas card and an envelope containing some money. By the time we got home, we received a text from them praising God because the quote to fix their van turned out to be about the same amount we had given. It was very touching and we realized more than ever that we were doing the right thing. I had doubted several times through the month that I had made the right decision. Today, more than ever, I experienced that we had.

Looking back:

By this time, we were so used to giving half our income that the idea of not giving, for the most part, didn’t even exist in our thoughts. It really became a way of life.  Once in a while I would remember that soon we would not be giving this much. Now we are back to giving our usual 10% and we are on our regular budget. I miss the giving and at the same time, it’s been much easier to pay bills this month. Also, tithing our 10% this week is a cake walk. I used to stress a little over it. Now, my thought is, That’s all we’re giving? Let’s throw  a little more in there. Still, we are thinking of ways to give of ourselves in the future  to fill that need, something more structured perhaps, yet maybe a little crazy. I can be an extremist, as you have seen.

Some highlights of the week of December 27th…we had 4 days to meet a deadline payment to our car loan company. We made it in two, which was a small miracle in itself. On the 29th, we had a selling contest at work. I won dinner for 4 at Final Cut Steak and Seafood, approximately a 400 dollar value. On New Years Eve, the 31st, we got pulled over by the police. He let us go when he probably could have given us a few tickets. Again, there’s no way to prove it but I feel we were living under a special grace and protection during this time of giving. After we helped our friends with the money to fix their vehicle and found that the amount matched that which they needed, along with their reaction, was really the moment my wife and I felt we had truly made the right decision to give this past month. More on that in my last post of this series  coming up tomorrow. Until then, be well, my friends!

Thirty-One Days of Giving in December…Days 20-26

Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love? -Fulton J Sheen

The above quote touched me deeply. I have never given to the point of having scars. I have scars because of stupid things I have done. My feet feel wounded sometimes because I can be too cheap to buy decent shoes and I am over weight. Have I left a place for divine love? I can’t say. Only God knows. We gave more of our money this last December than we did the other 11 months of the year combined, and by doing so I learned a big lesson. Giving money selflessly is a good thing, but it doesn’t come close to the giving of your time and energy to help someone physically or spiritually. In fact, I don’t think it comes close.

The week of December 20th thru the 26th had a few moments worth mentioning. We didn’t have too much to give because work was slow and I was off a few days for Christmas. I mostly recorded just a few thoughts.

Day 20

Wednesday. This was a hard day. I was surrounded by people making lots of money while I was making much less. I hadn’t given very much over the past few days and I think that is what I needed. I had no money to give today because I didn’t work yesterday.

Day 21

Thursday. Today was hard again. I was surrounded by people making lots of money while I was making much less. There were very prosperous parties all around me. I was doing ok but I was fighting the greedy gimmees. I fought a big spiritual battle today and can’t say I won. I was constantly asking God to forgive me for my jealous thoughts. I kept trying to celebrate for the people doing good but was failing. I’m on a double tomorrow so I should do good.

Day 22.

Friday. I had a wonderful time giving today. I snuck a bunch of Christmas money to a coworker  and a nice amount to a family who needed help with food, clothes and money. The casino asked the employees to donate to this family so I did.

Day 23

After work today, I used the giving half of our money toward gifts for my wife and kids to be paid back in a few days.

Day 24

Today is Christmas Eve. I will give this half plus yesterday’s half on the first day I work after Christmas. Praise God our electricity and gas was not shut off today due to a small miracle of money that came to help us pay a big hunk of our electric/gas bill.

Day 25

Merry Christmas everyone! I’m off today.

Day 26

My Christmas was extended because, due to weather conditions, work was closed. Hooray! No money to give from today, though. (boo). But I am so very thankful for this extra time with the family. ❤

Looking back:

Three things worth mentioning in looking back on these days. We did our best to give anonymously during December. One amusing moment was when I tried to give some extra Christmas money to my good friend and coworker without them knowing it. I had forgotten that everything in a casino is under surveillance. The camera records everything and there is nothing you can get away with.  I had left the money in a Christmas card at the host stand. That said, my friend requested from the manager to ask security to check the footage to see who left it. I had to pull the manager aside and ask if he would not let them know it was from me. He must have come up with a good story because I didn’t hear anything after that.

Also, our electricity and gas were being threatened for shut off on Christmas Eve. Remember, nobody knew we were giving half our earned income. But on  December 23rd, due to the generosity of someone who wishes to remain anonymous, our Water bill (which we had just received a shut off notice for) was paid in full and 80% of our electric bill was paid. Because of that we were able to work a deal with the company and keep everything on! I am very tempted to say how it all came about, but again, I don’t feel the individuals involved would like it to be public knowledge. All I can say is thank you. I can’t relate how grateful I am to you. You don’t know how much you did for us that day.

It is amazing to me when looking back at the first post, all of the things we needed to pay was paid by the end of the giving days  of December, with the exception of some of our electric bill, which will be caught up by the end of this month. Absolutely amazing!

Thirty-One Days of Giving…Days 15 through19

As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others. –Marianne Williamson

My name is Brian and I’m a server in a fine dining restaurant. Toward the end of November 2012, I felt a strong calling to give half of my tips and our family’s income for the upcoming month of December toward a good cause or random act of kindness. To follow the series click here.

Days 15 through 19 were mostly a series of peaks and valley’s. One moment our faith was skyrocketing and the next we were helping each other remember why we decided to do this. There was a moment to come when we absolutely knew we made the right choice and looking back I still feel the same. During these five days, we snuck some money to a friend, we gave a bunch extra to our church and also to a family who’s husband/father had passed due to cancer. I didn’t take many notes during this time. I don’t know why. I mostly wrote on the 18th day so I will include this one only.

Day  18

Monday is my day off. We are going shopping for some of Mary’s Christmas gifts. We got a call today that said we have a week before they will shut off our power due to non-payment. That’s right. Christmas Eve they will shut off our power. I’m tempted to feel like I don’t understand. I’ve been giving…but the giving isn’t about receiving. It’s about loving. I need to know that everything will work out no matter what. We aren’t going to starve or freeze to death. Whatever happens…I will stick to my plan. I felt called to give half my income for the month of December and I will not give up.

We went shopping tonight and got presents for Mary. It was a wonderful time. Very fun and festive. We shopped responsibly but found some wonderful presents.

It was a good feeling to let money go freely knowing God is our universal supply. It feels weird writing that but I believe it to be true, even though I have moments of doubt, deep down I know it’s true. I think about the end of these 30 days…what will it bring? I feel so blessed during the times I have given our money to a good cause and I think, I would love to always be able to do this, even beyond the 30 days. While talking to the lady from the electric company, they had no idea that I could have made the payment on time if I wasn’t giving half my earnings. To listen to her say that we had a week to find the money or they will shut us off, I felt very sad. Especially since that would be Christmas eve. But for now, as I sit here and write this, the Christmas tree is glowing with colored lights and traditional ornaments, candy canes and presents beneath. Right now, we have heat. Right now we have warmth and light. We have food in the fridge and the cabinets. Right now, we have healthy beautiful children warm and sleeping in their cozy beds. At this very moment, we have everything we need and I am deeply and humbly thankful from the deepest part of my heart.

Looking back:

I think the hardest part for people to understand here is that I was acting on a very strong feeling I was supposed to be doing this. If someone hasn’t had that feeling, it will make no sense. But, as i said, what is done is done. This was the point where there was no going back whether we wanted to or not. They were calling for full payment on all we owed for electric and there was no way we, ourselves, could pay it by Christmas Eve. I think this is when we fully turned everything over to God because there was nothing  do except keep plugging along and do our best. One incident during these days, on the 16th we received a surprise gift of 200 dollars in the mail. Our bill money was growing…slowly, but growing.  Did the electric company shut off our power on Christmas Eve? You’ll have to come back tomorrow to find out. Until then, be well, my friends!

Thirty-One Days of Giving…Days 13 and 14

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. ” -Harriet Beecher Stowe

My name is Brian and for the month of December 2012, my wife Elizabeth and I decided to give half of our income to a good cause and/or a random act of kindness. To follow this series from the start, click here.)

By day thirteen, rent was still behind and Christmas was drawing closer. Many good things came out of our days of giving and one of them was that we became more aware of our food budget. That, it seemed, was where most of our money was going. This particular morning, I woke up feeling a very positive energy. I even made a comment about it, as you will see…

Day 13

It’s the date 12-13-12. Well, it was. It’s now after midnight here in Michigan. This morning I said, wow, it’s 12/13/12. Maybe something wonderful is going to happen today. Well, relatively speaking it did. We received an unexpected thousand dollars for food! I also received 40 dollars in a Christmas card from my Aunt (thanks Aunt Judy). I made over two hundred dollars at work and Elizabeth got paid a little early. I am teeming with gratitude and joy.

For the next three days, we are saving our giving money toward a friend who is having financial difficulties. It can be hard during this time of year. There seems to be a lot of pressure to spend money on the best gifts and the highest technology. I hope Christmas becomes a lot simpler again some day. We are going to do our best to give everyone we want a little something this year. We’ve already got a few good gifts for our daughter and they came in a wonderful easy fashion. I’m thankful for that. Over the past few nights, I’ve been finishing off my evening with a short reading from three books. The Bible, The Game of Life and How to Play it by Florence Scovel Shinn and an Emanuel Swedenborg book. Have a peace filled day. Be well, my friends.

Day 14

Well, today I did not give any money. I was saving it for someone I know who may need a little help this holiday. Rule 4 of these thirty days of giving states that I am not supposed to keep any saved money for more than two days…unless…there is a special reason. Well that was what I was going to do except I made everything I wanted to save for in two days! I had only one table tonight that I served at work. It was a party of 13 people. Very nice folks! At the end of the dinner, their bill was enough so that the added gratuity was 300 dollars. The gentleman paying didn’t notice that I added the tip. So, what did he do? He added another 300 dollars. When I opened the check book, I saw that he didn’t realize the tip was added and joked with my manager that drinks were on me tonight. But after taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of having a 600 dollar tip, I went back to the gentleman and asked if he noticed I had already added the gratuity. “No! I didn’t notice that, he said. Thanks for being honest! Then, he looked at the credit card slip, then he looked at me and said, You know what? Leave it on. You earned every penny. Merry Christmas. I was speechless and teared up a little. I couldn’t thank him enough. I went home and piled up the money that I was going to be able to give tomorrow and thanked God.

Looking back:

There is no doubt that this was a turning point in our thirty-one days of December giving. We were saving our giving money for a friend of ours who was having a bit of a hard time. I can’t say who or what because it was given anonymously. All I can say is that it was a chunk of change! I’m safe to write this because I’m positive they won’t read this blog. What I didn’t mention in the journal was that from these two days, we were able to pay rent including the late fee. Cling! One bill down. The grocery money came in almost a magical way, and it really saved us. Again, I can’t say from whom it came because I don’t want to put anyone on the spot, all I will say is that nobody knew that we were giving half our income, and yet it came. Just the other day someone asked me, Did you give half of that 600 dollar tip? Yep.

We weren’t giving to receive, but I do believe we were protected by, provided for and watched over by God during our days of giving. Would all of this have happened even if we weren’t giving half of our income? No one will ever know for sure. I know what I believe and I stand by it.

At this point rent was caught up but we still had some other catching up to do. We weren’t out of the woods yet but we could see the sun through the trees. Some rough times were still ahead, but God still had a miracle or two up his sleeve.

One final note: I said that I hope Christmas will be simpler and the pressure to get the best technology, etc. I would never have said that as a kid. One of the best Christmas morning memories I had was waking up to find an Atari 2600 system with PAC MAN already on the TV screen. Seriously awesome!

Until tomorrow, be well my friends.

Thirty-One Days of Giving…Days 11 and 12

My choice is what I choose to do, and if I’m causing no harm, it shouldnt bother you. Your choice is who you choose to be, and if you’re causing no harm, it shouldn’t bother me. -Ben Harper

I like the above quote because it addresses both sides of the issue we have raised from our 31 days of giving half our income in December. (click here to learn more and follow the series) I can honestly say that nobody was harmed from our giving half our income for one month out of the year. On the other side of the coin, there are some important points in the questions, comments and criticisms that have been raised by people concerned about our approach in our December giving. Here are some examples:

What if you had started out with a very tight budget for the family which you met first and allowed you to pay each of your bills (even a portion) and then given all the leftover money for the month?

Wouldn’t it be a blessing or a gift or a form of leadership and compassion for you to pay your creditors, family, neighbors, landlord, church, etc. what they are owed first? …Have you broken contracts with others to enjoy the feeling of giving to others?

Why does a gift have to be monetary? Isn’t time and effort, caring and hospitality worthy of being a sacred offering?

Is it disrespectful to others or to God (or foolish) to give away the blessings He may have intended for you and your family to use wisely?

If you are not paying your bills on time. Rent, car payment and utilities, which I assume you made a Promise to pay, you are literally stealing Peter to pay Paul, which in this case Peter has provided something of value to You, and yet you give to Paul who has provided nothing of value….Imagine for a moment the sense of peace and calm you would posses knowing all your obligations have been met on time, and that you have delivered enough value in your daily work that you can give without compromising anyone else. (for this whole comment, refer to the post Thirty-One Days of Giving…Days 7 and 8)

I deeply appreciate the concerns people are raising here. They make some very valid points and worthy to consider the next time we do some radical giving. My only answer, and maybe it doesn’t satisfy those disturbed by what we did, is that if we stopped and thought more about how we should give in December, if we began to rationalize and/or put off the giving for a better time, it never would have happened. But it did and it’s done. We’re not going to go and take the money back. We are now in our regular monthly budgeting schedule. We came, we gave, we learned, we wept, we rejoiced and God saw us through. Amen and Hallelujah.

Now on to the journal from days 11 and 12:

Day 11

Today is my day off and I didn’t earn or receive any money to give. Elizabeth asked me what I wanted to do today and I said something Christmas-y. She thought about it and named a few things we could do. The one I wanted to do the most was go to the Lights Before Christmas at the Toledo Zoo. It also happened to be the highest in price. But I felt inspired that if I give freely, I will receive freely. This 30 days of giving is about many things and one of them is getting myself into the flow of prosperity. Despite the outward appearance of our financial situation, we went to the Lights Before Christmas. I was expecting it to be about 25 dollars. It turned out to be 49 dollars! I was taken aback for just a moment but recovered very quickly and paid the lady in faith. Also, during the time at the Zoo, Elizabeth and Mary got a coffee, hot chocolate and a side of hot French fries. It was in peace that I gave the money for that. Somehow in all the giving and reading positive affirmations, I feel peaceful and protected. Plus, we had just an awesome time. It was very special spending that time together as a family. We looked at the lights, saw some animals, warmed ourselves in the elephant viewing area, drank hot chocolate, coffee and hot French fries, danced to a musical tree light performance (my favorite), and just had a blast. It was worth it!

Day 12

Today is my second day off. We went to see Mary’s Christmas Band recital and it went great. I was so very proud of her. They had a tom drum at the entrance of the theater with a hole in the middle for donations toward the home school band program. I had our giving money so I dropped some of it in and I included a stack of $20’s with a note that said to designate that money to a family who is behind on their band fees. It was enough for 2 months. We are behind a couple of weeks.ourselves.  Hopefully they wont designate it back to us!  Right now it is late and I am looking at our beautiful Christmas tree. I feel a slight emotional tug of concern thinking that I love our house, I love our neighborhood. I’d hate to lose it. We’ve been here only a couple of years so I don’t feel deeply rooted here, but I do like it very much and would feel sad to have to move. Then I wonder how everything is going to work out? But then I stop and realize it isn’t up to me to know right now. We are living in faith. Giving in faith, spending in faith, working hard at our employs, working to improve ourselves physically and spiritually. Our house is being kept cleaner than ever since we’ve been married (in other words I’m helping more now). We are teaching Mary in home school and making sure Jonny is growing and learning properly. I’m paying fully on my child support which is something I mostly haven’t been able to do since I’ve had to pay it. We have private insurance through my work. We are in a very prosperous place right now. Sitting here thinking about it more and more, I could go on about some other tremendous things happening around me. It is and has been a beautiful holiday season so far. I love giving. I think I already know what I’m going to do for our next giving money but I want to save for at least 3 days before I give it. I want it to be decent size. Good night.

Looking back:

Day 11 is really special, especially from hindsight. I had no idea what was going to happen the next day. It’s very exciting. (to me, anyway, and hopefully to you.) It’s fun to go over these past writings because I haven’t really read them since I wrote them in December. I can look back and see, especially from these notes, that my faith had become strong. We had bought the farm. We became firm on the inside and therefore the external began to change, as we will see tomorrow.

Be well, my friends.

(By the way, the band money didn’t come back to us…thankfully)

Thirty-One Days of Giving…Days 9 and 10

Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury.  He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “this poor widow has put in more than all the others.  All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.” -Luke 21, 1-4.

My name is Brian and I am a server in a fine dining restaurant. At the end of November last year, my wife Elizabeth and I decided to give half of our earned income to a good cause and/or a random act of kindness. To get an idea why, follow this series back to the beginning by clicking here.

Usually I write a little prologue but today I want to get right into the journal.

Day 9

It’s Sunday and we gave our money to the church tithe. We had 9 extra dollars to give so we threw that in there, too. Woo hoo!  We are in this time of advent at church. The pastor talked a lot about the second coming of the Lord. I have my own particular beliefs on that and one of them is that the Lord can make a second coming into your life right now. When you are going through a spiritual struggle and you find yourself somehow getting out of it  with the strength to overcome, that is the Lord coming into your life…a second coming, if you will. It is by His strength only that we can overcome. I am inspired by the story in the bible of the woman who put her two pennies into the treasury. Jesus taught his disciples that she gave the most. “Two pennies?” the disciples wondered at this. And Jesus replied, in essence, that she gave the most because she gave everything she had. I am not giving everything I have. I am giving half. I still feel little moments of fear because, so far, I haven’t had enough to pay any bills, but mostly to feed the family and provide gas for the car to get to work. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I will fight the fear and give loyally for these 30 days as I have felt called to despite the circumstance because somehow, without being able to fully explain it, I feel it is the right thing to do.

Day 10

I am saving our giving money until tomorrow since half wasn’t that much. The thought occurred to me last night while I was working that I am in the middle of a revolution. I am rebelling against my old way of thinking which is lack and limitation. Working in a restaurant, you can have good days and crappy days. I would have a tendency to feel jealous of another server who would get a good table that tips a lot or a large party when I didn’t. The truth is I should be celebrating that person’s success because mine is just around the corner. It comes and goes for everyone in this business. So I should be happy for them when they get good tables just as I hope they will be happy for me when it is my turn. That was a big problem for me. During this time of giving I have really become aware of how much that was consuming me. I have consciously begun to celebrate the success of others, though it’s not easy. I’ve had to force myself to do it. But the more I do it the more I actually feel happy for them. It has given me a new peace that’s growing the more I practice it. I’ve started rereading the writings of Florence Scovel Shinn who was an expert in inspiring people to align their thoughts and words with the perfect good that resides divinely in each individual and help them to bring prosperity and abundance. Since on this journey, I’ve started gravitating toward writings and websites that focus on very positive themes such as success, happiness and prosperity.

Looking back:

These two days were interesting. We had reached a point where we really couldn’t turn back. We weren’t going to anyway, but we were in too deep to change our minds. I think it shows because there is less anxiety in the journal and more words of hope. I was drawing a lot of strength from inspirational writings. I began to read the bible before bed. I was fasting. My prayers became a little longer and more sincere. Ok, truth be told, I was actually praying. What I had been doing before was more like a head nod in God’s general direction. But my faith was strengthening as I decided fear was not going to be able to live in this new environment. Not that I was living in total faith. Fear kept showing it’s ugly face. But faith can be rewarding as you will see. I can’t wait to post my blog tomorrow!

Be well, my friends!

(One interesting note. I mentioned how the Lord can make a second coming into our lives in many ways. I believe it was the next Sunday that our pastor talked about the same idea in his sermon.)

Thirty-One Days of Giving…Days Seven and Eight

“Jesus told his disciples to walk the extra mile. He didn’t say to walk the extra mile as long as your feet don’t hurt.” -My wife Elizabeth

Welcome to days 7 and 8! For the month of December 2012, my wife and decided to give half of our earned income to a good cause and/or a random act of kindness. Click here to see the whole series up to now.

All day today I couldn’t stop thinking about the people who find our thirty-one days of giving to be an odd thing to do, or crazy…or just plain stupid. I’m thankful we didn’t tell anyone about it while we were in the middle of the month. I was already giving so much energy to keeping the faith, that extra doubt from others was not going to help at all. I was talking to my wife Elizabeth earlier today about these folks who don’t quite get it. I realized that it is hard to understand when it isn’t your own calling and especially when it’s outside “common sense”. My wife, who is very wise, observed that when anyone steps out and does something above and beyond themselves, it can make others confused and even defensive. They are looking for a foothold on a piece of something they can relate to when there is no sense to be found, only the unknown.

Another hangup people might have is that we are being very open about our finances. Finances are a very private thing and it may make someone uncomfortable reading about where we stand financially. Believe me, it was a lot harder for us to decide to open ourselves up to the public in this way. But, as I’ve said in past posts, our purpose in writing this blog series is to inspire others to give and provide encouragement. If we made it seem we were doing great financially and then decided to give half our income, it would not be very inspiring…and it would be a lie. It’s a lot easier to give when you have an abundance. Anyway, enough about that. On to days 7 and 8.

Day 7

A letter came today from our car loan company. It said that they are very unhappy with the way we’ve been handling our loan. We are behind in payments. Also, our trash service didn’t pick up today’s trash so I assume our service is on hold until we make another payment.

Is it possible to give irresponsibly? I mean, if I owe money and I put it off to give to a good cause, is that wrong? I am questioning if I’m doing the right thing. The thought also came to me, what if someone finds out about us giving half our earnings and is inspired to do the same? Our efforts may be giving above and beyond through the giving of others.

However, I did have enough money today to changed the oil in the car. I am very thankful for having everything we need. Also, with our giving money, we took our daughter Mary to the store and we picked a couple of toys for Toys For Tots, the Marine toy drive. Then, we took her to the market and bought a lot of food for the Knights Of Columbus Christmas food drive. Mary did such a great job picking out the food. She was very careful and picked out some wonderful items. It felt great because only a few years before, someone showed up at our door with several boxes and gifts for us from the same drive. It was an amazing feeling to be able to help out this time.

I just got back from work. I was reflecting on something Elizabeth said earlier today about Jesus telling his disciples to walk the extra mile. He didn’t say Walk the extra mile as long as your feet don’t hurt.

Day 8

They are having a toy drive today at the mall to benefit thousands of NW Ohio families and Elizabeth is deciding if she wants to go. She probably will despite the condition of our van which she will have to drive. I appreciate how passionate she has become in this journey of ours.

I was discussing with her about the thought that I am open to receiving gifts and I’ve been trying to resist tying that together with my openness to giving. In other words, if I affirm to the universe, I open myself to all pathways of prosperity, I don’t want to feel like I am entitled to prosperity because of my giving. At the same time, I feel I am entitled to happiness because I believe God, who is pure love and wisdom, created us in his image and there is no lack or limitation in God.

It’s after work.  Elizabeth did go to the mall for the toy drive. With our giving money, Mary picked out some nice toys the she would have loved to have but thoughtfully gave them to the people collecting. In the kitchen right now there are two full bags of groceries we are giving to the Knights of Columbus food bank. Tomorrow we will tithe our money to the church for the week. Tonight was a little rough at work. My last table was a big investor from Japan, his translator and his American host. There were a few issues with the food but they still tipped me well. There have been a few examples over the past week where the guest has an issue, drinks taking too long, food not cooked right. I forgot something and they still tip 20%.

There is no question that I feel a sense of peace and freedom. I have moments of doubt and even a little fear but I have such an arsenal of good will in my “bag”, I can’t help but feel everything is going to be ok.

Looking back:

At this point, rent was getting later and later, the car company was breathing down our neck and the trash was cancelled. I remember looking at the meager amount of money we had saved toward bills and thinking, Ok Lord! Now what? This was one of the lowest points of December financially. Not quite the lowest point. That was yet to come. I was sweating, though! A spiritual battle was on and I didn’t feel like I was winning. Doubt kept creeping in. I remember standing in the shower getting ready for work and talking to God, asking Him if this was right. I kept feeling that it was. I kept hearing the answer “I’ve brought you through harder times than this.” And it’s true, He has. As the month went on, we became tighter as a family, I began to appreciate certain everyday things more. Hot water, soft towels, a car that works, electricity. Light and warmth. I really appreciated food because during this time I also happened to be on a juice fast…but that’s another story for another day. Over all we were living on faith. We had each other to keep us uplifted and, as I said, an arsenal of good will and giving that I kept close to the forefront of my mind. One last thought. There were moments during the month that re- inspired me and were heaven sent. Elizabeth talking about walking the extra mile unless your feet hurt, that was a good 20 minute conversation that we had. Her words lifted me and got me back where I needed to be mentally and spiritually. Thanks baby! I also love how involved our 8 year old daughter Mary was in the giving on these two days.

Until tomorrow, be well my friends! ❤

Thirty-One Days of Giving…Day 5 and 6

Giving is placed first because it is something we can all do right now. We don’t have to be ethically perfect, we don’t have to be great meditators, we don’t have to develop great patience and avoid anger in all circumstances. We can be extremely flawed, extremely problematic people, but still be generous. Giving opens up our heart, which is another reason why it is placed first. -Tenzin Palmo

My name is Brian and by the strength of the source of love and wisdom, my wife and I gave exactly half of our earned income during the month of December 2012. To find out what inspired us to do this, read the first post of this series.

I am extremely proud of one of my co-workers, who is also a good friend. Today at work, she informed me that she set out to give someone gas money at a gas station as a random act of kindness  She said she sat at the pump waiting to give, but nobody came. Not to be discouraged, she moved on to another gas station with no luck again. She mentioned that someone did eventually pull up but she didn’t feel called to offer the help. I think this is an important point. People wonder why we decided to give half of our earned income in December. The answer is, I felt called to do it. Simple as that. So if you don’t feel that calling, the pull in that direction, maybe there is a good reason. There are also times when we might hear the call and we answer with, “But I don’t wanna!” There’s no question I said it more than once this last December. But she seems determined to give that gas money. Good job and keep it up, my friend!

Day 5

Back to work today. Elizabeth also had to work this morning and so I watched Jonny, our one year old son. I packed him up in his winter garb and  headed to the store. I had $8.50 with me, one 5 dollar bill and a handful of change. Elizabeth had $10 for gas to get our daughter Mary to her trombone lesson. All the money to our name.  Oh, I also had a 1.00 lottery scratch off ticket. When I got to the front, I gave the cashier the ticket. She handed it back saying it was for Ohio, not Michigan. Oh. Whoops. Well, I put back a cucumber and went home. On the way out of the store, we stuffed the leftover change into the Salvation Army bucket. With a handful of groceries, Elizabeth has just enough money to make it to Mary’s music lesson in Ann Arbor and I have just enough gas to go to work. We always seem to have enough for what we need no matter what. It’s not an over abundance at this time but I am truly thankful for what we do have. Food, clothes, shelter, a nice house, two cars, a beautiful family and friends who love us. (later) Work went very well. From the money I earned, I am able to give $108 dollars. I am so very excited to give it. We may give money to the Christmas tree lot which the local firefighters have every year. We want to give enough money to buy a couple of trees for families who may be having a hard year. We’ll see tomorrow. Today I asked myself again why I was doing this? The bills are due. Past due! I drove to work on practically fumes, in a van which seems to have the hiccups, a bad tire with no spare, expired registration and it was shaking like it was frightened. It’s times like these I am tempted to feel like I’m only giving so that I may get something in return…but the truth is I give because I feel called to do it. It feels good. No, it feels awesome. It puts me on a higher vibration when it comes to money and it’s just plain right. I was talking to Elizabeth tonight about the fine line between giving for the sole purpose to help and spread love to others and the purpose to help yourself feel better, add to your own abundance and grow your own happiness. I’m beginning to feel there is a balance between the two. I confess that I am 100% open to receiving gifts and I think through my giving and my faith during hard times, it helps open up all pathways. In the meantime, I get to feel the joy of watching someone’s eyes light up when I pay for their gas or give an exuberant tip. It’s a special feeling that I am quickly becoming addicted to.

Day 6

Today, we took our giving money and paid in advance for two Christmas Trees for families that may be having trouble affording it this year. We spent the rest on a food drive that was going on in front of our local market. Much of the joy in giving this way is trying to figure out how to give. Most everyone has experienced the joy of receiving a surprise gift. Just the other day, Elizabeth had to wait a little extra longer for her Starbucks coffee. Because of that, she was offered her coffee for free. It’s a small surprise but a happy one.

I made enough today to give 104 dollars.

Looking back:

I wish I could properly relate the feeling of when I asked myself, “Why am I doing this?” It was a moment of intense fear. It was stepping out further into the unknown, out into some strange abyss in which I had no idea where it might suddenly drop off or lead. These two days were a roller coaster ride of peaks and valleys. One moment I was on top of the world, doing some great thing for God, myself and others. The next moment I was scared poopless not knowing what was going to happen next. Yet, we kept on. One of my favorite moments of day 6 was when we gave the money to the Christmas Tree guy. He got very excited and inspired. You could see how touched he was. We didn’t get the pleasure of knowing who got those trees, but the look on the man’s face was enough for me. And who knows? Maybe he was inspired to give a little extra this holiday season. Until tomorrow, be well my friends! ❤

Thirty-One Days of Giving…Days Three and Four

You are capable of more than you know. Choose a goal that seems right for you and strive to be the best, however hard the path. Aim high. Behave honorably. Prepare to be alone at times, and to endure failure. Persist! The world needs all you can give.
-E. O. Wilson

My name is Brian and during the month of December 2012, my wife and I decided to give half of our earnings to a good cause and/or a random act of kindness. To get a general idea why, check out the first post of this series.

I am writing this on January 4th and today was a little difficult in a few ways. The first was that I have come to really enjoy giving. No, I have come to love it. Now that December is past and we are, more or less, back on our regular giving schedule of 10%, I feel a little empty. It’s hard to really explain what it’s like to give so much in the way of money. It sets you free in a way. You get the feeling, no matter what your financial circumstance, that you are living under a special grace.

The second difficulty is, now some people are guessing that it was us that gave them a gift. We tried our best to give as anonymous as possible, which might be a bummer for those readers who are looking to enjoy hearing about the reaction of some of the recipients of our giving. (There are a couple of good ones, though, so hang in there) I feel a little uncomfortable  because I really felt called by God to do this, not to make us look good. At first, I really wanted to set our experience to a blog series. As the giving days of December continued and our experience became more spiritual, it became a very intimate ordeal and I began to debate with myself whether or not to share the experience publicly at all. Now that the time has come, I decided to go ahead and publish it for one reason only, that it might inspire someone to give more of themselves or their resources.

Finally, the third difficulty, and probably the least important, is that we are starting to catch some criticism from a few people. It’s a little tough because someone very close to us is upset that we did this. But it is to be expected, I suppose. It was a little crazy but in the end, I believe we did the right thing.

On to the notes from December 3rd and 4th! (both days off from work)

Day 3

Monday. I spent this day with my family, running around doing errands, taking Mary Violet (our 8 year old daughter) to her Spelling Bee, her theater class and to her eye exam to see if she needed glasses. (She doesn’t, much to her dismay…???) I had no money to give because I gave all of our giving money yesterday. I was hoping to come into some money for whatever reason so I could give some of it away…but alas, it didn’t happen. I will be spending some time tomorrow volunteering to paint the house for the new pastor of our church. At least I can give some time.

Day 4

Tuesday. I definitely had the hardest time today. After all the work we did and money we made over the past week, we only had 64 dollars to our name tonight, which we spent on recharging the phone and I bought a few strands of Christmas lights. While driving to the store to get these things I kept thinking, Why? Why am I doing this? Is it right? Why am I putting myself and my family through this? We have to pay these bills…and soon. The universe was definitely challenging me, testing me to see if I was going to give up. But then tonight when I sat down to write this blog, Elizabeth said some words that recharged my determination. “I don’t want you to quit.” That’s all I needed to hear. I needed to know that she was still with me and wanted me to keep going. It also made me remember, I could lose everything, but as long as our family is together and we have each other, I can rest easier knowing this is where the true strength lies. These days off when I wasn’t making any money, I learned that I have to save some giving money if possible. I lost that loving feeling…as the song goes. I need to keep that loving feeling of giving alive. That good feeling that money can supply. I was able to this morning because I gave my time and energy to help a friend paint some of the inside of their house. Giving time can be just as fulfilling as giving money. I have to say, though that it isn’t as fun. Oh well, I’ll still do it and I think I will make an effort to give my time toward a loving cause on my days off and throughout the week if I see the opportunity. Back to work tomorrow and looking forward to it, though I enjoyed spending time with my family these past couple of days.

Looking Back:

Day four was the first big challenge. I had serious doubts about the decision I had made. In truth, I was ready to give it up. All Elizabeth had to say was that we should stop and I would have quit right then. It was an interesting moment because we weren’t far enough into the month to make a big difference if I did quit. We hadn’t bought the farm yet. We could have turned back and not much would be different. There was an exact point when we were in over our heads and there was no going back. But that is to come. Until then, be well my friends.